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“This is all ruined!”
🤯 Common mind traps to avoid

Either-or thinking is something that comes up often when there are heavy emotions or opinions on a topic. It is known as a mind trap because it leaves us feeling stuck and unable to move forward. I’ve been thinking a lot about this mind trap recently because the world seems so polarizing. Scrolling through my social media and news outlets, I see the heavy divide across politics, human rights, and many more global topics. Because I have a very strong stance towards the importance of diversity and human rights, I’ve found myself falling into this either-or thinking lately whenever I see nasty comments from opposing sides on social media.

On a personal level, this either-or mind trap is usually paired with the catastrophizing mind trap, which sounds something like this: “I had a goal of eating healthy foods and exercising regularly this month. It has been such a busy week and I snacked on some chips and also didn’t work out on Monday. Now my diet is completely ruined and I have to start all over again! Ugh, this always happens.”

The either-or part is when we see one setback as completely having to start all over again and the catastrophizing part is when we say it is completely ruined and that this “always” happens. Words like always and never are a good sign that we’re falling into the catastrophizing mind trap, because things are rarely always or never. It’s almost always somewhere in the middle (see what I did there?).

While this either-or mind trap or catatrophizing mindset can provide a temporary boost or “kick in the butt” to motivate you towards your goals, it’s not sustainable. It’s an unhealthy way of talking to yourself and it is the equivalent of leading with fear and force, versus empathy and objectivity.

The next time you find yourself falling into this mind trap, here are a few questions to ask yourself to prompt some reason and logic which help balance out emotions:

1. When have I felt this feeling before?

2. Looking back, what did I learn from that experience?

3. What is true about this?

4. What evidence do I have that this is actually true?

❓️ QOTD - Question of the day

Your question: “What is your opinion on moving into another job just after 6 months at a current one?”

My response: I’ve been in that situation and I’ve left after 3 months, despite what all my mentors and previous managers were telling me. The golden rule of “stay at least 1 year” was something I chose to not accept, because my gut after weighing the different factors all led me to make the change now, versus wait. But that was unique to my own situation and point in my life (earlier in my career, before I had a family, etc.) There isn’t going to be an answer you’ll find externally, it needs to come from you ultimately. Here are a few things to consider in this decision:

• What is it costing me to stay right now (mentally, emotionally, financially)?

• What will I be giving up if I were to leave now?

• What is my concern or fear. How realistic is it to actually come true?

• Common factors to weigh in a job change:

  • Ongoing pay/salary

  • Bonus (one-time)

  • Equity/stock options

  • Time off

  • Title

  • Growth opportunity within the company

  • Flexibility of your working hours

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🌏️ 🗓️ News & Events

• Last year I had such a great time facilitating a workshop on Impactful Communication at the FP&A and CFO summit with Finance Alliance.
  
  This year, I will be hosting the conference!
  
  I’m excited to meet more professionals who are wanting to expand their network and grow in their careers. There’s something about in-person events like this that have that extra “spark” and human touch that virtual conferences just can’t quite re-create. Maybe that’ll change in the future as AI continues to advance. Until then, see you all in-person!

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You’ve reached today’s end. But it doesn’t stop here! Let’s continue to bring empathy and humanness into all aspects of life and work.